i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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