pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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