I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
