hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
