he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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