Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
