I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
