It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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