I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Randomize