i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
