He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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