4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
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