How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
