Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Randomize
