I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm sobbing to NWA
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
