I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
