I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
