Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
