When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
she pinky promised me she was 18
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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