sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
