Whoa Z and x make the same sound
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
