she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
What drink are we having for lunch?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
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