Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
