Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
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