Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
