I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
