I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
