We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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