So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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