They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
