Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
