I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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