im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
