Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
