he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
