Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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