The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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