there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
