Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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