Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize