Im at strip club and am horny
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
