Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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