those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
