Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Randomize