I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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