If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
