it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize