those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
