found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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