I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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