Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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