he shaved USA in his pubs
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
