Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
