guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
