you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
