hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
