My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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