what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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