I'm sorry my penis didn't work
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
