Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
