So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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