Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
