My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
