my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
