Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
