that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
